* Eyes of fire

My stupid ass introduction:



Though Tom's legacy to Sludge is about 4 days old at most, it feels like he's had a life long career we have been following. This interesting man-child captivated my vodka addled mind on a hot humid Sunday night, and literally overnight, he has become a pseudo Sludge celebrity. Here is the email I got back after he completed his 20 Questions:



Thanks for the interview I appreciate it. I have

answered all of your questions in one way or another.That was a great set of diverse questions. If im

ever "famous" and doing interviews on a regular basis

this one I can imagine will probably be one of the

most entertianing interviews I have ever catered to.



Onto the questions!



1. Who are you? Better yet, what are you? This is your only chance to plug your virtuosi metal abilities, your website, and your band.



Who am I? Read my “miniature” bio and find out if your really interested in who I am and what I am at www.eyesoffire.net/bio.htm Also listen to a sample of my musical capabilities at www.angelfire.com/ab/metalpalace/page3.html and www.angelfire.com/ak3/soundfiles/page.html You will have to pardon the write ups on my sound file pages as they are now way outdated just as my hair color is on those pages and I desperately need to update them. All music is completely written, mixed, mastered, arranged and performed by yours truly. The demo that I did under the Eyes of Fire name was after I first started to learn to play lead guitar.



2. Is `Land of the Lost’ your favorite TV series?



I’ve never heard of this series, I don’t watch a lot of t.v. Sorry.



3. What is with the Eyes of Fire moniker? Do your eyes dry out and burn often? Do you need me to get you Visine? Why not Penis of Fire or Pancreas of Fire?



Eyes of Fire is just a cool name I thought up when I was in High School. It also opens up some amazing possibilities for some live visual effects. Visit the website, my personal website at www.eyesoffire.net



4. Please tell us your tips for obtaining such a pretty poofy mane that you possess. Some of us are considering a similar look.



Grow it long and take care of it.



5. Virtuoso question: Can you perhaps explain to me, Mr. King of All Arpeggios why there is a blatant flub in your playing in the track `My Opus?’ (Between: 11seconds & 13 seconds) Did you not practice that day? Was the glare of your white tube socks too darn distracting to play properly?



That was a mistake I made. “My Opus” is a song on my demo that I made right after I started to learn lead guitar work. That particular run was extremely hard for me at that time, I was trying to play better than I really was, but I did it anyway even though I couldn’t get it to come out just right. I’m surprised you had to ask about that “blatant” flub in my playing and didn’t already know it was a mistake when you listened to it. Dude, might you need to see an ear doctor to have that looked at? If you listen more to that sound file, you will find more mistakes. It’s a great song, it’s a great demo. Just needs to be cleaned up, someday way in the future I will probably do that.

C.o.M: So so so so SORRY Tom. I should've been able to see the flashing sign that said MEDIOCRE BEGINNER. Pardon my blindness. anyhoo...



6. Are there Vikings in Wisconsin? And if so, can you take a picture of yourself with nothing on but a horned helmet and white socks?



The horned helmet may flatten my hair and give me “helmet” head. I don’t know if any Vikings exist in Wisconsin. If there are any, I would like to meet one of them.



7. Please choose between the following:



A) Funk & Wagnall or Britannica: Like I would read a set of encyclopedias I just think they make a cool backdrop and with the internet I don’t even need to use them to look something up.

B) BC Rich or Kramer: I’ve never tried a Kramer so I can’t answer that and know what I’m talking about.

C) Flammable hair or flammable pajamas: I wouldn’t go with either, but I have to admit I love the visual in mind for flames in place of hair. Ever see the old Ghost rider comics?

D) King Diamond or King Kong Bundy: Duhhhhh don’t you already know?

E) White socks or Whitesnake: Both



8. Your band is called A Touch of Evil. Where did evil touch you? Was it good touch or bad touch?



A Touch of Evil was thought up by the other Guitar player, Doug Richmond, long before I was asked to join them. When I first heard it I loved it. Also, it reminds me of the Swedish Goddess Doro Pesch. Great song by Warlock. If you would like to learn more about the bands VERY short history so far, go to http://atouchofevil.com/opening.html and click on the History link on the left hand side of the screen.

Correction!  The A Touch of Evil name was thought up by our drummer, Michael Oettiker.  That was my mistake, sorry Mike!



9. How would you classify your band? Select the following:

a) Neo classical metal

b) Power Metal

c) Progressive melodic death metal

d) Tube sock rock



e) A Touch of Evil Metal <--



10. How were you able to go through the entire 90’s and not be affected AT ALL by the musical trends that were popular? Was it because Kurt Cobain didn’t have upside down crosses painted on his face?



Easy, I don’t think on a timeline of pop culture.



11. You have such lovely teeth, would you let members of this board lick them?



That depends, are you applying to “lick” my teeth? (Pearl Drops whitening toothpaste, Wal-Mart or Walgreen’s) I think I should receive royalty checks from Wal-Mart, Walgreen’s and the makers of Pearl Drops for that beautiful plug-in. What do you think?



12. Rate the following guitarists on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being a guy who can play Eruption with his teeth or a 1 being an untrue poser fag like Jimmy Page.



Andy LaRoque = Technical capability:10 Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…: 10

Michael Angelo = Technical capability: 10 Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…:4

Ritchie Blackmore = Technical capability: 7 Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…:9

Yngwie Malmsteen = Technical capability:10 Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…:10

Chris Impotentilliteri = Technical capability:10 Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…:8

John Petrucci = Technical capability: 10 Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…:10

Randy Rhoads = Technical capability: 10 Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…:10

Angus Young = Technical capability: 2 Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…:9

CC Deville = Technical capability:8 Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…10:

Mick Mars = Technical capability: 4 1/2 Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…:7 1/2

Yourself = Technical capability: you be the judge, I do not know. Be sure to attend metal fest. For all information go to http://www.atouchofevil.com Emotion , attitude, right brain capability etc etc…:Emotion and attitude is a definite 10, right brain capability I’m working on and will probably never be completely happy with.



That was an excellent list of axe men to choose rate. I’m sure you had that in mind when you created the list. Thank you for that. However, you did miss Jason Becker, Marty Friedman, Great Kat, Chuck Schuldiner, Rex Carroll, Oz Fox, Paul Gilbert, Steve Vai and, Karl Logan.



13. You call yourself Metal and `true’ and disapprove of `posers.’ Yet you openly listen to Poison which is the seminal band for posers. Can you explain this paradox, prince of poof?



As I said earlier, I don’t think on a time line of pop culture. I don’t see poison as a poser band. They are still doing what they want to do regardless of anything else that is happening in the music scene. There only classified as an “80’s” rock band because what they did back then and what they are still doing today happened to be mainstream in the 1980’s. Fact is, they are still doing what they want and the year is 2002. To me that is timeless, I do not care about pop culture. Unfortunately I cannot say the same for all bands that were mainstream in the 80’s, or any decade for that matter. Most people/bands/groupies whatever whatever will jump on the band wagon and whatever is currently “hip” in the present. I call them sheep. Its disgusting.



14. Do you live with your parents and are they supportive to your metal cause? Are they worried that one-day some drunk 300 lbs. black fellow is going to mistake you as a `purty blond girl’ and have his way with you?



I live with mom and dad. If I were confused for a girl, it wouldn’t be the first. Haven’t you ever seen me kiss a pretty girl in a PUBLIC place? Use your imagination on that one.



15. Rate the following broads on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being the metal queen 1 being an untrue poser pile of feces.



The Great Kat =10

Doro Pesch =10

Lita Ford = I haven’t seen or heard from her in at least ten years, so back from what I remember, 9

Jenna Jameson = I have no idea who she is.

Bea Arthur = Never heard of her.

Jennifer Lopez = If I’m rating her on being a METAL queen she would have to get a 1.

Oprah Winfrey = Same as Jennifer Lopez.

Yourself = If I were to remove my detachable penis, I would be a killer 10 ranking metal Queen.



16. According to you, the 80’s produced the most advanced musicians. Then perhaps you can explain the deep and introspective lyrics of this song from the 80’s:



I am a Viking

I’m going out to war

I have death upon my mind.

If I’m a Viking, I’ll walk all over you

And by my sword you will die

(`I am a Viking’ - Yngwie Malmsteen)



I don’t pay much attention to lyrical content most of the time unless the subject is King Diamond. Also, when I made that statement I was speaking on a moronic timeline of pop culture. The 80’s by far had the best musician’s on a technical (left Brain) level. And I don’t think Yngwie was ever noticed for his lyrics was he? I’m sorry but that question really sucked. Not that I feel perturbed or anything, it was just a lame question.

C.o.M. : Well duh, it had to do with Vikings and Yngwie. Moving right along:



17. Metal Sludge is prepared to give you one million dollars tax free if you do the following: Cut your hair, dress up like Eminem and kick King Diamond in the balls. Would you do it?



No.



18. How will listening to King Diamond on a daily basis make me a better person? I can only imagine that my penis will shrink and my vocal range will go from male to sissy.



There is ONLY one way to find out now isn’t there?

19. You mention that a healthy regimen of practicing scales and arpeggios is good to build dexterous fingers. Has this also helped you in the digital manipulation of women or are you still having a hard time finding the clitoris?



Where is the clitoris and how do your pronounce that word?

C.o.M.: Let me spell it phoenetically: The-Great-Kat



20.Do you use drugs or abuse alcohol? Please say yes.



I don’t need any drugs to get high. I wouldn’t want to use drugs to create an artificial high and cheat myself on the natural high that phenomenal metal gives me personally. Alcohol? I haven’t been drunk since I was 16.



21.Any last words? Comments? Hair care tips?



Yes, thank you for the interview. Stay metal in your own way in whatever metal means to you personally. I invite everyone to metal fest this year at the Milwaukee U.S. Cellular Arena to watch the debut performance of “A Touch of Evil” The time is not yet final, however you will know as soon as we do if you stay posted at http://www.atouchofevil.com and sign up for the mailing list. Some national acts that we know of so far are Arch Enemy, Exodus and Seven Witches. There will be more. Anyone planning on attending get your tickets through us at our website as we can get them cheaper. There are only a few left so hurry.



My only hair tip at this time is to grow it out and grow it long. Make it illustrious and beautiful. Show it off, invite the prettiest girls to run there fingers through it. If you get slapped, your come back is, “your just jealous, you know you want me, your just playing hard to get cause you know you just, you just, you, you , you want me, you want me bad, you want me REAL bad and in the worst way!”



"Don't cater to trends. Don't be satisfied with mediocrity just because

that seems to be successful. That is deceiving because "mediocre" players have something else."

Jason Becker



Well kids, he knows how to plug, he lives with his folks, Oprah is not Metal, and he has no problem with confidence. I would plug his website again, but I doubt there's a need for that.